Saturday, June 30, 2012

Another leg of the journey complete....

Another leg of the journey complete....
When I went in to begin my last cycle of chemotherapy on June 18th for some reason I was not real excited.  This turned out to be a good thing as my blood counts were low and my treatment was delayed a week.  Not being excited was a good thing because if you are not excited you don't have far to fall.  
Last Tuesday my blood counts were good and I was given my first of four infusions.  I was a bit excited about the blood work being OK but not real excited about getting up at 5:30 AM to make the drive to the city for the last infusions. I actually found myself wide awake at 4 AM. 
Traffic left me getting there right on time to check in but still a bit late for my 8 Am appointment.  I did not feel so bad because as I headed to the elevator for the 11th floor  I saw Judy the nurse who had given me most of my infusions. I told her to slow down because she would be waiting on me. 
My nephew Tom brought me sausage McMuffins when  he picked me up for the drive down and after I settled in, I added frosted strawberry pop tarts , a bagel with peanut butter and as lunch time neared a meat loaf sandwich.  
I watched the monitor on the IV pump finishing my last infusion, the timer ran out and Judy came in but there was still some left.  She reprogrammed it to run slow so I could make a much needed trip to the boys room. I returned got back in the bed and got my camera out in time to snap a picture of the monitor on the IV pump. It read .25ml.  Judy turned the pump off, removed the IV,  I put my shoes on and gathered my stuff. It was finished.
A few moments later several nurses returned with a certificate of my "Last chemo Day" signed by everyone working that day.   Another leg of the journey was not only finished but was "complete."  
The James Center is very well known for treating cancer but I feel the reason they have this reputation is not just for the work they do but also the people doing the work...

Friday, June 22, 2012

Motel Time!


Motel Time!
Some are looking at this picture and memories of closing time at the OK Cafe are coming back to mind.  The sign in this picture is probably the only thing left of what I consider a bygone era. 
Mo Mosure  was the "Proprietor" of the OK cafe. I remember seeing Moe's signature on a menu with the word "propprietor" below, it always sounded so formal but at the same time welcoming if that makes sense. I looked up the definition of proprietor and it simply means "the owner of a business or establishment"  Mo was a very likable guy and proprietor fit him much more than owner.
I read once that the OK was the first bar to open in Marion after the repeal of prohibition, and though I'm not old enough to remember this,  I do have many memories over the years. In the early years there  were two entrances on the front of the building, one going to the pizza shop and the other to the bar. Inside, between the two there was a opening where a pay phone hung on the wall, I'm guessing at one time this may have been stairs to the upper floors.  A large  carved wooden sign hung out front, it featured a crest, above read OK Cafe, and below "Omega Kappa Alpha Chapter." In those days OSUM (Ohio state University Marion)was very small and I doubt there were any fraternities in town, I often wondered what the tie was.
As a child I remember several times sitting at the bar eating a hamburger with my dad, usually it was in the afternoon and things were empty and quiet. 
As years went by I was able to go to the OK on my own, in the early days you could by Old Milwaukee for thirty-five cents a mug or a pitcher for $1.25.  It wasn't just about the beer, I remember going there many times after church on a Sunday night for pizza - and a beer.  
In 1991 while in the Air Force I came home for a week to celebrate my 30th birthday. Throughout the week I gathered with different friends but spent my actual birthday riding my motorcycle and ended the day eating pizza at there.  One Christmas while I was stationed in Germany some friends took a video camera into the OK and sent me a tape of greetings from friends and family who were there.  
As time goes on things change, the front of the bar was opened up across the front to include  the pizza shop, more and bigger windows were added and there was only one entrance. I think it was in 1993 when Mo died, there have been several different owners since then, all claiming to be just that - "owner." That may also explain why I've only been there 3 times since Mo passed away.
So what does this have to do with "Motel Time?" Some of you know, for those who don't at 12:45 every night Mo had this small club he would beat on the back of booths. He would then announce "It's motel time! You got 15 minutes, chug 'em if you love 'em lose 'em if you don't!"

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Snow Day....


Snow Day.....
Last Monday should have began my last cycle of chemo, some had been telling me over the weekend I should be excited.  But I wasn't. I was glad to be finishing but was not getting real excited, simply because I know the routine. The nausea, being tired, not knowing what to eat, drinking water and Gatorade until I drown. You know, "the routine."
Monday I made the trip to the Martha Morehouse Medical Center for a blood draw, DR. visit and chemo and as the song goes 2 out of three ain't bad - but not good enough. The DR had just mentioned that this, my last cycle of chemo, was like my "graduation day." Then a nurse came in and said the system that dones the blood tests kicked mine out for platelet count which meant they were either too high or low. The blood tests verified by a person and confirmed my platelets were low, which meant no chemo today.  The DR. speculated it may have been because I had been there the week before on a Tuesday and it had not been a complete 2 weeks. I was just barely under the minimum, but that still meant no chemo. 
I had an appointment with a Urologist the next day so it was decided that because I was so close to the minimum the count may be high enough the next day.  Some may have been disappointed but I wasn't, it was going to be an early day and I sort of felt like I had a "snow day" from school and my first thought was head up to the lake.  
I returned the next day to find that my platelets were still low and that my chemo would be pushed back another week .One of the first thoughts I had was that since I was not as excited as some thought I should be I did not have far to fall when the last cycle did not happen as scheduled.  My second thought was I had a snow week! Anytime you get a week off of school for  snow you got a blizzard which is why I've included the above picture, taken during the blizzard of 1978.
This is the third day of temperatures in the mid 90's and all of this typing about snow does not make things any cooler. Maybe I'll finally make that trip to the lake.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Closing time...


Closing time ...

Tomorrow begins cycle 4, my last scheduled cycle of chemo. Each cycle has brought changes as well as some constants.  All  of cycle one brought what seemed to be constant changes in nausea medicine trying to find the right one. I know constant change is an oxy moron. Cycle 2 seemed too be better with hydration after a week, and this morning I just feel like I've completely recovered from cycle 3.  
I sit here and think about cycle 4 with mixed feelings, and surprisingly I'm not real excited about tomorrow being the beginning of the end. The song "Closing Time" by Semisonic comes to mind, and one line in particular "every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end" seems to stick out.  The chemo ends but next on the agenda is surgery to remove and reconstruct my bladder. I'm not gonna miss the physical aspects of chemo but there have been some things that have been fun about going through it. 
When I made my first visit to the Urologist at the Martha Morehouse Medical Center (part of the James Center @ OSU), my nephew, Tommy rode down with me and my cousin Mary met us there. Mary took notes and asked questions and just like she said I sat there pretty much overwhelmed at everything the Dr was saying.  Afterwards she told me that I needed to get a folder with file pockets to keep all of my papers in. So I did and everyone who sees this is impressed with how organized I appear to be. Thanks Mary. 
This brings to mind another constant, my nephew Tom has been going with me to pretty much every appointment from the beginning. He takes notes, files papers, helps me to remember questions, makes sure I get my scripts filled... He's pretty much my personal assistant. I told him about the movie "Bucket List" and how I felt like Jack Nicholson who had a personal assistant in the movie who was interestingly named "Thomas."
We've got a routine. If we have a lot of questions or I've had a lot of problems I try to have them printed out.  Tommy comes to the house, usually I've put the file folder into the shoulder bag with my laptop, we talk about the day, Tommy grabs the bag and we head out.  I feel like the President,  my nephew wearing dark glasses  walking with me everyplace I go carrying this bag. The laptop and medical folder contain a very large chunk of my life.  It brings to mind the "Football"  you see someone carrying that supposedly contains the codes to launch a nuclear attack that is always with the President. 
Some of the constants of chemo can be fun. For now i think it's "Closing Time" 
I've had another though come to mind while typing this, check back for "Motel Time" 

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Routine.... Yea right.


There's a bit of chill in the house as I sit here debating my morning "routine."  But truth is there is nothing routine about life with cancer. I did not sleep well last night, up several times to the bathroom and just not able to sleep. 
I think I'm up for a while now, I've weighed myself, checked my Blood Pressure and temp and now the routine is kind of on hold as I type. I look at the pill bottles thinking about the dreaded taste of that one antibiotic and the 6 others that go with it. I see the empty gatorade bottles scattered and remind myself to start drinking more or I'm gonna be in trouble. My desk is pretty much a total disarray, one cup with pens and pencils, another with coins, a glass coke bottle holding lancets from my glucose meter, a few live rounds, police scanner and my 9mm. 
I get up and walk around the room, not real sure if I'm looking for   inspiration or just something to write about. I glance at a photo collage on the wall, I see a picture of my mom and dad on their wedding day, my younger brother who passed away probably when I was 2, the last picture of me and Santa Clause. and finally, a picture of the "Loyal Order of AGE Guys. " Me and the 4 other guys from my first Air Force assignment at Fort Campbell, KY.  
There's nothing routine about cancer so I think i'm going to try and take those pills, get some food in me and go back to bed for a bit and try starting over....

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Third Time's a Charm....


This picture is where the best therapy a man could ask for begins,  on a boat leaving a dock as the sun sets.  Actually there is a tie in my book because some would argue that on a motorcycle in the wind is the best. I happen to like both when I can. Think about it, you've never seen a boat dock at the therapist office and if you see a motorcycle there it probably belongs to the DR. 
One key part of going through chemo is hydration -  I learned that is a two dollar word for drinking lots of water.  Another is eating weather you feel like it or not.  Today it took  2 people 3 attempts to get my IV started and they reminded me to drink lots of water tonight so it will be easier tomorrow. I also learned they had trouble with several other people. 
While online I read an article about a man who had been moved to the death house, he was scheduled to be executed tomorrow, and has since been given a two week reprieve.  I don't want this to be about the death penalty so don't waste our time going there.  I read the article because one thing that has intrigued me is the "last meal."

Tomorrow I will have 4 hours of chemo and I decided to try and "load up" for supper tonight. I went to Kroger and brought home the "managers special."  I got a nice steak, marked down to $2.29, nice slice of vanilla pudding ring cake, marked down to $0.49, small loaf of cheddar jalepino italian bread $0.89. Grill the perfect steak, toast the bread, add some macaroni salad, potato salad from the fridg, nuke the cake, drizzle some caramel topping over it and you have the "last meal" fifty years early. 
I haven't forgot the hydration part.  tonight I have drank 2 quarts of Gatorade and am finishing my fifth bottle of water.  Tomorrow is going to be a long day, but I think I'm ready for it.  
R

Monday, June 4, 2012

M&M Salad with breadsticks....


Today is the start of cycle three of four cycles of chemotherapy. It seems like I've had a lot more time to think over the past 2 weeks of cycle two, and as with anything that can be good or bad. The nausea did not seem to hit me as hard this time, I think the thing that helped most was forcing myself to eat and drink when I did not feel like it.  
I've always looked at this as a journey and as I type two key things come to mind, memories and inspiration. I could say motivation and call it M&M, and maybe get a letter from the legal department of the candy company.  
Sometimes it is little things that get you moving.  I'd been wanting salad and breadsticks for sometime, partly because it would be something lite to eat and partly for the memory.  I used to go to a place called Campus Pizza Chef to get salad and breadsticks, anyone who has been there knows their breadsticks and hot cheese sauce were the best. Some from Marion have never herd of Campus Pizza, some remember when it was located at the corner of Kensington and Mt. Vernon Ave. where an auto parts store and recently closed Blockbuster sit.  Older people like myself may remember its original location further east where a Subway and car rental agency are located.
One time while planning a trip to Florida it was suggested I bring some breadsticks from Pizza Chef.  It happened they would be open about the time I was leaving for the airport so I thought why not? I had maybe 10 orders of breadsticks with hot cheese sauce in 2 plastic containers. I could have made a lot of friends on that plane.  Another time dining in with my nephew I placed my order and when the waitress asked my nephew what he wanted he simply replied "my usual."   The waitress got this funny look as she had probably never seen either of us before and I simply said "he wants the same thing."  To this day my nephew still orders "my usual."