Routine.... Yea right.

There's a bit of chill in the house as I sit here debating my morning "routine."  But truth is there is nothing routine about life with cancer. I did not sleep well last night, up several times to the bathroom and just not able to sleep. 

I think I'm up for a while now, I've weighed myself, checked my Blood Pressure and temp and now the routine is kind of on hold as I type. I look at the pill bottles thinking about the dreaded taste of that one antibiotic and the 6 others that go with it. I see the empty gatorade bottles scattered and remind myself to start drinking more or I'm gonna be in trouble. My desk is pretty much a total disarray, one cup with pens and pencils, another with coins, a glass coke bottle holding lancets from my glucose meter, a few live rounds, police scanner and my 9mm. 

I get up and walk around the room, not real sure if I'm looking for   inspiration or just something to write about. I glance at a photo collage on the wall, I see a picture of my mom and dad on their wedding day, my younger brother who passed away probably when I was 2, the last picture of me and Santa Clause. and finally, a picture of the "Loyal Order of AGE Guys. " Me and the 4 other guys from my first Air Force assignment at Fort Campbell, KY.  

There's nothing routine about cancer so I think i'm going to try and take those pills, get some food in me and go back to bed for a bit and try starting over....