breaking the rules.....

"...the same ole same "how have you been" 

 Ever get a song stuck in your head? I do all the time, or maybe just part of a song.  I got just this part from the Kid Rock/ Sheryl Crow song "Picture" stuck in my head all day today.  It's a pretty sad song but what stuck with me most was what I call "the rules." 

You know how it is, see someone you have not seen in a long time, and the follow up greeting is "how've you been?" they reply "fine." everyone has followed "the rules", you were being polite asking how they were doing.  You may not care how they really are doing, or have time to listen if they were to tell you, but you were just being polite and following "the rules."  They may be having the worst day of their life and be in desperate need of someone to talk to but they reply "fine"  because that's "the rules."

Another time "the rules" come into play is when someone dies, you know how it goes "if there's anything I can do for you..." "no I'm fine"  I remember an aunt who when my father passed away would not take "no, I'm fine" for an answer from my mom and helped take a great load off of her.  I also remember her sharing about how she no longer asks that question.  Seems a gentleman did not know about  "the rules" and had her cleaning his whole house.

So what's this got to do with anything? I've been kind of down today, I have a friend who was probably going through some troubles.  He is a friend I don't see often, and when we got together we both played by "the rules."  Did he want to share the problem with me? Could I have helped?  could I have changed anything?  Who knows!  

But what I do know is that it's time to start breaking "the rules." I can remember being asked in the past "how's it going" and my reply was "how much time do you got?" So the next time you pass someone forget the rules and don't ask "how's it going" unless you have time to listen to how it really may be going and really care enough to help.